


Inconceivable

by Engie_Ivy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Hurt Remus Lupin, Hurt Sirius Black, Hurt/Comfort, James Potter is a Good Friend, Love Confessions, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Fest 2020, Post-Sirius Black's Prank on Severus Snape, Protective Sirius Black, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Sirius Black Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:55:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28628382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Engie_Ivy/pseuds/Engie_Ivy
Summary: For the past months, it had seemed inconceivable to Remus that he would ever talk to Sirius again. Now, as he stares at Sirius’ closed eyes and the dried blood on his shirt, something much more inconceivable comes to mind: that he would never talk to Sirius again.It's not that Remus hasn't forgiven Sirius yet, he just hasn't accepted that he has forgiven Sirius yet.He just needs a little more time.However, a gruesome Quidditch accident makes it evidently clear that you should never just assume more time will be given.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 20
Kudos: 218
Collections: Marauders, Marauders Fest 2020





	Inconceivable

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt:  
> Sirius gets hurts during a Quidditch game and Remus confesses his feelings for him in the infirmary thinking that Sirius is asleep
> 
> Tw for language and violence, nothing graphic though

_I didn’t even get to yell at him._

Strange enough, it’s Remus’ first thought as he watches Sirius fall down, his broom left adrift in the sky above.

Remus gets up from the stands and runs down the stairs, pushing people out of the way, but hardly being aware of it. He wasted the last two months not speaking to Sirius at all, and now he has no time to lose.

_I didn’t even get to tell him he’s an idiot._

There are so many things he should’ve said to Sirius two months ago, but instead, he had remained silent, and now he might never have the chance.

As he reaches the bottom of the stairs, they’ve moved Sirius to the side if the field, where he’s lying on the grass with Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall bent over him. His eyes are closed. His pale face is in sharp contrast with the dark red blood that is dripping from the side of his head where the Bludger hit him, and streaming down his neck. As Remus stares at the unconscious boy lying on the ground, looking so frail, he has only one thought.

_I didn’t even get to tell him I forgive him._

**Two months earlier**

“Mister Black, would you care to explain why you did it?”

Sirius keeps his gaze fixed on his knees.

“Mister Black,” Professor McGonagall says firmly. “You owe mister Lupin at least that much-”

“It’s fine, professor,” Remus interjects. “I honestly don’t care.”

“Well, I do!” While Remus looks impassive, James looks furious. “What the hell were you thinking, Black?”

Not Padfoot, not even Sirius, but Black.

“I didn’t force him to go in that tunnel!” Sirius snaps. “I may have told him how, but he chose to go in there himself. I even told him it was dangerous and he should stay away-”

“Oh, please!” Remus says, despite his intention of appearing not to care. “He’s been desperately trying to find out for years where I’m going, so you knew damn well what would happen if you’d tell him how to follow me and you knew damn well that you telling him not to would only spur him on! You knew damn well what you were doing.”

“That still means he only followed you because he so badly wants to get you expelled and me in trouble! I’d say he would’ve deserved whatever would’ve happened.”

“Deserved to die?” James looks at Sirius like he doesn’t even recognize him anymore.

“Why should I care if he makes stupid decisions that get him killed?” Sirius hisses. “Why should I fucking care? Do you think they would care? Snivellus, Avery, Mulciber, Rosier, Wilkes, and all those other soon-to-be Death-Eaters-”

Professor McGonagall makes a protesting noise.

“Oh come on,” Sirius snarls, not even caring that he’s speaking to a professor. “We all know that’s what they’re all going to be the moment they leave Hogwarts! If they had the chance to put us in a dangerous situation, they wouldn’t hesitate for a second. They’d be gloating, wouldn’t feel a hint of regret, but I’m supposed to be wrecked with guilt because I didn’t actively prevent Snivellus from doing something stupid?”

“You are supposed to be-”

“Supposed to be what?” Sirius snaps. “Better than them? Well, fuck that! I’m sick of letting them get away with everything under the guise of ‘being better than them’. I’m sick of having to care, while they don’t. They don’t care! Snivellus, and all those Death-Eaters and wannabe Death-Eaters like him, all those purebloods who think their last name makes them bloody royalty who support You Know Who only to better themselves, they don’t care who they hurt! Muggle-borns, half-bloods, anyone who opposes them, anyone who simply disagrees with them, even if it’s their own family… They don’t care! They don’t fucking care. They never have…”

Sirius’ voice is shaking, and his anger and resentment are clearly not aimed at Snivellus alone. “Why am I treated like a criminal while no one ever holds them accountable for anything? I don’t want to stand by and do nothing anymore, while they hurt and destroy. I don’t want to be so damn useless, feel so fucking powerless all the time…”

“What was I in this grand plan of yours to get back at them?” Remus asks bitterly. “Collateral damage? Means to an end?”

“Moony, no, you don’t understand-”

“I think I understand just fine, Black. You’ve made yourself perfectly clear: you don’t care.”

“I do care about you!” Sirius says. “Of course I care about you! I only thought about making Snivellus pay, finally making one of them pay, and I was so blinded by anger… If only I had stopped and thought about the consequences for you, I’m sure I never would’ve done it! No end justifies hurting you, Moony, not to me.”

“You know, you’ve taught me something important,” Remus says, seemingly calm. “I always thought the very worst thing that could happen was people treating me like a monster, but now I know that’s not true. What’s even worse is people treating me like a weapon, and the actual very worst thing that could happen, is you treating me like a weapon.”

Silent tears are streaming across Sirius’ face. _Good_ , Remus thinks, and he hopes Sirius feels even a fraction of the pain he has felt.

“Mister Black,” Professor McGonagall says slowly. “You must understand that you have endangered the lives of three fellow students. That is more than enough to have you expelled.”

Remus knows he should feel something, but it’s like the anger, hurt and betrayal have left no room for any other emotions. Sirius also doesn’t show any response. Only James sucks in a breath.

“I would expel you,” Professor McGonagall continues. “Had I thought you actually had the intention to hurt people. But when I look at you, I do not see a bad person. I see a young boy who was very badly hurt by the people who were supposed to have loved and protected him, who was pushed to the edge and responded in the only way he was ever taught how: with anger and violence.”

Professor McGonagall rubs the bridge of her nose. “Besides, no one will be helped by sending you back to your parents. But of course, mister Lupin was the foremost victim in this, so I cannot allow you to stay at Hogwarts if he feels uncomfortable with your presence, which I would understand.” She looks at Remus from over her glasses and speaks in a softer, more friendly tone. “Mister Lupin? Do you wish for mister Black to be expelled?”

Remus looks at her, then at Sirius. He makes eye contact with him, before he says the most hurtful thing he can think of.

“I don’t care.”

He sees Sirius flinch, like he has received a blow to the face. Good.

Remus turns his attention back to Professor McGonagall. “Can I leave now? I’d like to get some extra sleep before class.”

As McGonagall nods, he walks out of the room without sparing Sirius another glance.

Sirius Black isn’t talking to anyone anymore. Sure, The Marauders have stopped talking to him, but he has stopped talking to everyone. Doesn’t even attempt to. Always walking by himself, sitting by himself, studying by himself. Remus Lupin doesn’t care.

Sirius Black is skipping meals. At least he doesn’t eat them in the Great Hall anymore. Maybe he sometimes takes some food from the kitchens, but judged by his rapid weight loss, not often. Remus Lupin doesn’t care.

Sirius Black is hardly getting any sleep. He only enters the dorm as his dorm mates are most likely already asleep, and is gone before they wake. He looks pale, with dark circles under his eyes. Remus Lupin doesn’t care.

Sirius Black has been crying. The boy with his carefree attitude who always shrugs everything off has been seen blinking away tears. The boy who even laughed when his parents only sent him a Howler on Christmas Day, while everyone else got gifts, has been seen walking around with red and puffy eyes. Remus Lupin doesn’t care.

For someone who doesn’t care, Remus Lupin spends a lot of time convincing himself he really doesn’t care.

Remus is waiting for James to come down so they can go to Hogsmeade together. The common room is almost empty, but Sirius is huddled in a corner somewhere trying not to be seen. Remus has no trouble pretending he doesn’t see him.

Sirius is the Hogwarts version of grounded. He’s allowed to go to his classes and Quidditch practice, but nowhere else. He has detention almost every evening.

As James finally walks down the stairs, Remus catches him look at Sirius with a pained expression on his face.

Remus turns around and walks away. “If you’d rather stay here to keep him company...” He hears James hurry after him, and he knows he’s being petty and unfair.

“Come on, Moony! Don’t be like that. I’m on your side, I’ve been on your side this whole time.”

“Well, I don’t want you to feel forced to be on my side,” Remus says without slowing his pace.

“Don’t be daft,” James says, as he catches up with Remus. “You know I’m on your side because you’re right in this and he was wrong.”

There’s a short silence before James speaks again.

“But are you really never going to forgive him?”

“For taking my deepest and darkest secret, that I trusted him with more than anyone else, and using it against me? No, I don’t think so.”

“Fair enough,” James sighs. “I won’t blame you, but for a decision like that you should at least know all the facts.”

“I know enough-”

“No, you don’t,” James interrupts. “We never told you the truth about what happened last summer.”

“Prongs, I don’t like talking about him, and it’s really no use-”

“You owe me, Moony,” James says plainly. “Remember what could’ve happened if I hadn’t intervened, so at least hear me out.”

Remus shudders just thinking about what could’ve happened if James hadn’t been there. He’s right, Remus owes him everything.

“Sirius didn’t just unexpectedly come to visit me for a few weeks last summer,” James begins. “He ran away from home.”

“If you think I’m going to forgive Sirius because his mummy and daddy didn’t hug him enough...”

“Would you just shut up and listen, Moony? Sirius had found out his parents arranged for Regulus to take the oath.”

Remus gapes at him. “The oath?”

“The oath,” James replies bitterly. “To be sworn in as a Death-Eater.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Remus has stopped walking without realising. “Regulus is like... what? Fifteen?”

Sure, Regulus, Sirius’ younger brother, is a Slytherin. He can be sly and cunning, he’s ambitious, and he’s got that trademark Black haughty air over him. But he’s also quiet and a bit shy, likes to keep to himself and can often be found sitting somewhere on his own reading a book. He never pretends to be better than anyone, and he always tries to help the first-years out, no matter what house they’re from. His biggest fault might be how he wants to make his parents proud, like he’s trying to make up for the disappointment Sirius has caused them. Sirius always insists Regulus has a good heart, and Remus agrees.

“He won’t last a day as a Death-Eater.”

“That’s what Sirius said,” James says sadly. “He tried to reason with Regulus, but he said their parents had gotten into his head, and he couldn’t reach him anymore. Then he tried talking to his parents. He said he actually begged them. Can you imagine? Sirius Black begging his parents?” James shakes his head. “Of course, they wouldn’t listen, and then Sirius got angry. Things got pretty violent. When Sirius arrived at our doorstep, he was badly injured. My parents had to fetch a Healer to patch him up.”

_Even if it’s their own family… They don’t care! They don’t fucking care. They never have…_

Remus shivers.

“Sirius was a mess,” James continues. “I hardly knew what to do. It was the first time I’ve ever seen him cry. Not because of the pain, not because of what his parents did to him, but because of Regulus. He felt so guilty for leaving him behind. He just knew those people were going to lead his little brother to his death, but there was nothing he could’ve done and nothing he could do.”

_I don’t want to be so damn useless, feel so fucking powerless all the time…_

Remus squeezes his eyes shut.

“Prongs,” he says pleading. “I hate them. I hate his parents. I know Sirius isn’t a bad person by nature, and I wish he had been given the chance to grow up in a normal family. But it doesn’t change the fact that Sirius almost made my worst fears come true, almost turned me into the one thing I’ve always feared becoming. I don’t see what this has to do with Sirius’ actions-”

“It has everything to do with it!” James exclaims. “Don’t you see, Moony? His parents trying to get Regulus to join the Death-Eaters, Snivellus trying to get you expelled. To Sirius it became one and the same: self-absorbed pureblood fanatics trying to ruin the lives of the people he loves most, without anyone holding them accountable. For Regulus, he was forced to stand by and let it happen. But for you... He saw a chance to stop Snivellus’ desperate attempts to find out your secret and not wanting to do nothing anymore, he took it.”

Remus had thought he was done crying over Sirius, but now he feels the sting of tears again. “He couldn’t possibly have done it to help me. He only made things worse, so much worse.”

“He’s still Sirius,” James says empathically. “He can be an idiot when he gets emotional, who acts without thinking and makes stupid decisions. And...”

James glances around to see if no one can hear them before speaking in a soft whisper. “Don’t ever tell anyone I said this, but... Snivellus is not stupid. I know we like to say he is, I do most of all, but he’s... smart.” James looks like it’s causing him physical pain to say those words. “Not when it comes to morals, social skills, or, you know, basic human decency, but when it comes to manipulating people, he knows what he’s doing. Sirius was already in a bad place, and Snivellus seized the opportunity to hit him where it hurts. Snivellus knows exactly how to push Sirius’ buttons, what to say to trigger him and how to give him that final push.”

There’s a short silence in which Remus mulls over James’ words. He’s right about Snivellus and how he can get under Sirius’ skin, especially if Sirius was already on edge.

“I guess it doesn’t help very much,” James sighs. “But I don’t think Sirius even truly comprehended the danger he was putting Snivellus in. He probably wanted to give him a good scare. And I’m absolutely sure he didn’t realise what consequences it could have for you. If he had thought about that for even a second, he’d never have done it. Sirius would rather die than hurt you, of that I’m sure.”

“But he did hurt me, Prongs.” The tears are now streaming across Remus’ face. “He hurt me so bad, more than I ever thought possible, and I don’t know how to go back from that.”

Remus had been returning from some late night studying in the library, and stops in his tracks after rounding a corner.

The first thing he sees is Sirius. He’s being pressed against the wall by Avery, who has an arm pressed against his throat, flanked by Mulciber and Rosier.

“Look at him,” Mulciber says mockingly. “He’s gotten so weak. Pathetic.” He spits out the last word.

Rosier grins. “And his little group of friends isn’t around to help him anymore.”

Sirius doesn’t look angry, scared, or even slightly worried. His face remains completely passive. “What do you want, Avery?”

“Snape told us what happened,” Avery replies coolly.

Remus feels the floor fall out from underneath him, and it’s like he can’t breath. He promised he wouldn’t... Dumbledore assured him...

Now Sirius does show a reaction. He’s completely frozen in place, and his eyes have widened in shock and horror as he stares at Avery.

“Well, not in detail,” Avery continues, unaware of Sirius’ reaction. “But he’s told us how you’ve betrayed those so-called friends of yours.”

Air flows back into Remus’ lungs. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know.

The tension also seems to have left Sirius’ body.

“You’ve made some stupid decisions, Black,” Avery says. “But perhaps you’d like to reconsider? Since you’ve betrayed those people you used to call friends, perhaps you’ve finally realised how inferior they are to you. Sadly, you’re a Gryffindor, I suppose that can’t be helped, but you’re also still a Black, and with the blood that flows through your veins, you’re worth a thousand of them! Perhaps you’d like to follow our movement after all? Rid the magical world of the stain of muggle interference?”

“You’re not following a movement,” Sirius says in a steady voice. “You’re following a delusion.”

Remus winches as Avery punches Sirius in the face, hard. He can see blood drip from Sirius’ mouth.

“You have nothing, Black,” Avery hisses. “You gave up everything you could've been to hang out with blood traitors and half-bloods, and what has it brought you? They’ve all abandoned you. You’re all alone, no family, no friends.”

Sirius looks at him undeterred. “If you’re only going to tell me what I already know...”

“I’m offering you a chance here!” Avery snaps. “A last chance. Despite all your flaws and stupidity, you’re still the heir of one of the purest wizarding families there is. I’m offering you a chance to be a part of something! You and I, Black, we belong to the Sacred Twenty-Eight. We’ll be treated like kings in the new order we’ll create! Those blood traitors and half-bloods will grovel at your feet, begging for forgiveness.”

Sirius spits his own blood in Avery’s face. “Fuck you.”

Avery punches him in the stomach. “You still think you’re so much better than us, don’t you?”

Another punch.

“You still think you’re different. Different from us, different from the rest of your family.”

Another punch.

“Well, let me tell you something, Black. You’re no different from the rest of us. You’re a Black, and you can’t escape that. It’s in your blood, in your genes, in the way you were raised. It’s in every fibre of your being.”

Another punch.

“Why do you think you’ve betrayed them? You can’t help it, it’s who you are. You’re just like us, just like the rest of your family.”

Another punch, and Sirius doubles over from the pain.

Mulciber grabs his hair and jerks his head up. “Don’t forget that you’ve got no one to protect you, no one who gives a damn about what happens to you. If you don’t join us, we can make your life a living hell.”

“If I’m really just like the rest of my family,” Sirius mumbles with a distant look in his eyes, and for one dreadful moment Remus thinks he’s going to give in, but then his gaze hardens again. “Then that’ll be no more than I deserve.”

More blows follow. Remus wants to move, wants to do something, but it’s like he’s frozen in place. He doesn’t know what part of himself he hates the most: the part that would still rather be beaten up himself than watch Sirius get hurt, or the part that whispers in the back of his mind _good, it’s what he deserves_. Well, maybe he does know what part he hates the most.

He wishes that at least Sirius would do something. Defend himself, or better yet, reach for his wand. Sirius might be in bad shape, but he’s still the best dueller in school, for Merlin’s sake! But Sirius is just standing there, supporting himself against the wall, taking the blows.

Mulciber is enjoying it far too much and lets out a cruel laugh. “You know what, Black? I’ll let you watch while I make Lupin beg for his muggle bitch of a mother.”

Remus hardly has time to feel a flare of anger at the words, before there’s a large blast. Both Mulciber and Avery are thrown against the opposite wall with a bang. Sirius is standing on his feet, looking fierce and focused despite the blood on his face, pointing his wand at them. Rosier tries desperately to raise his wand, but before he can even reach it, he’s hanging upside-down.

Sirius takes a threatening step towards Mulciber, who cowers against the wall. “You don’t touch him, you don’t look in his direction, you don’t even breath his name, do you hear me?”

Rosier unceremoniously drops down to the floor, and the three Slytherins scramble to their feet.

“You’ve had your chance, Black. You’re going to regret this,” Avery growls, before he follows Mulciber and Rosier in hurrying out of the hall.

Sirius slumps against the wall and slides down to the floor. He wraps his arms around his knees and makes himself small.

Remus looks at him and something shifts inside of him. Like his anger, hurt and betrayal were like Devil’s Snare, completely overgrowing his heart and smothering all other feelings. The Devil’s Snare is still there, prominently present, its branches holding his heart in a tight grip, but it has somehow receded. There’s room for other feelings beside it now. Regret, empathy, compassion. And that one feeling he thought had been suffocated by the Devil’s Snare. That one feeling he thought had been completely withered, but turns out to have been there all along, hidden underneath the thick branches of anger and betrayal. No more than a sprout is left of it, but it’s still there: love.

For the first time since it happened, Remus can imagine himself doing it: forgiving Sirius. Really forgiving. Not forgiving because a certain amount of time has passed and it seems pathetic to hold on to a teenage grudge, not forgiving to feel like the better person, not forgiving so he can move on with his life, but truly, completely forgiving Sirius. Understanding, forgiving and trusting Sirius. He’s not there yet, but it suddenly doesn’t seem so impossible anymore. He can now imagine himself doing it someday. He just needs a little more time, but for the first time, he can see it happening.

Sirius’ shoulders start shaking. Remus turns around and walks away.

Just a little more time.

Remus was a fool for just assuming he’d have time. ‘You have today, but you never know if you’ll have tomorrow’, that’s what his mum always said, and he should have listened.

The Quidditch match against Slytherin.

No one from Gryffindor had been particularly excited about it. Gryffindor’s strength lay in the excellent interplay between its top Chasers Potter and Black. Watching them play together was truly remarkable. They seemed to sense what the other was going to do and always seemed to know where the other was, leaving their opponents stunned. Now, however, Black was not on top of his game, and that was putting it mildly, which seemed to cause Potter to lose his focus as well. Gryffindor’s only hope was catching the Snitch as soon as possible, but with the younger Black being the best Seeker Slytherin has had in years, that seemed quite impossible as well.

Remus had anticipated disaster, but not like this. Nothing like this. Sirius had indeed not been able to get his head in the game. He was just hovering somewhere in the air, nowhere near the Quaffle, so there was no reason to expect the Bludger that smashed against his head from behind. Sirius had already been unconscious as he fell to the ground.

For the past months, it had seemed inconceivable to Remus that he would ever talk to Sirius again. Now, as he stares at Sirius’ closed eyes and the dried blood on his shirt, something much more inconceivable comes to mind: that he would never talk to Sirius again.

James rushes into the Hospital Wing.

Remus glances at his bleeding knuckles. “The guy who hit the Bludger?”

James nods. “How is he?”

“Not good,” Remus says, looking back at Sirius. “Madam Pomfrey gave him a potion to protect his brain against the trauma, and smeared another potion on the head wound. She cast spells to heal the broken bones and a Blood Replenishing Spell for the blood loss. But she says it was quite a blow, and it’s always tricky with head injuries. She’s especially worried about the skull fracture.”

“So we don’t know until he wakes up?”

“If he wakes up.”

“Shite.”

Professor McGonagall enters the room. She looks at Sirius with a worried frown, then turns her attention to James. “Mister Potter, Professor Slughorn has been nagging me about one of his students being beaten up by one of mine, and my argument that it was his own damn fault unfortunately did not do much good, as we have a rule at Hogwarts not to solve violence with violence. I am afraid you have to come with me for a moment so I can pretend to scold you and professor Slughorn can sleep well tonight.”

“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” James murmurs, before following McGonagall out of the room.

Remus sits down next to Sirius and takes his hand in his.

“For the record,” he says softly. “I forgive you. Unless you don’t wake up. I’ll never forgive you for that. These last two months without you have been hell, and I refuse to spend the rest of my life like that, so don’t you dare leave me alone.”

Remus feels tears sting in his eyes. “Merlin, Padfoot. When I saw that blow, when I saw you fall, I thought you were gone. I can’t believe that for some time I actually thought I was never going to speak to you again, because in that moment, when I thought it had become a certainty, it seemed completely unthinkable. I’m sorry, Padfoot.”

Remus lets out a shaky breath. “I’m so, so sorry. I’m not sorry that I was mad at you. I was right to be mad at you, you know? But I am sorry that I didn’t give you a chance to talk to me, give us a chance to work through it. I’m sorry that I was only focussed on my own pain, and failed to see yours. You’re a good person, Sirius. I know that. But I fear you don’t know it yourself.”

Remus’ voice becomes a whisper. “I should have forgiven you sooner. Or at least I should have accepted that I have forgiven you sooner. You were in a bad place, in a vulnerable state, and people kept hurting you. I can understand why you snapped. I can believe you did something stupid in a weak moment without thinking it through, I can believe that if you had thought about what it could do to me you never would’ve done it, and I can believe... No, I know that you never meant to hurt me. I’ve always known that. I don’t know why it was so hard for me to forgive you.”

Remus lets out a short laugh. “No, that’s a lie. It’s no use lying to you now, is there? I know why it was so hard for me to forgive you. Because the ones you love the most, can hurt you the most.”

Remus leans forward and carefully brushes Sirius’ hair from his face. “And Sirius, I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone.”

Thank Merlin for Sirius’ hard-headedness. Literally, this time. He wakes up.

James and Remus had been visiting in the Hospital Wing, and James just left, having offered to take over Remus’ prefect rounds with Lily, so Remus could stay a little longer.

Suddenly, bright, grey eyes are blinking up at Remus, like they’re not sure what they’re seeing is really there.

“Padfoot,” Remus breaths. “How are you feeling? Are you okay? Should I go get Madam Pomfrey?”

“Don’t leave,” Sirius says hoarsely, but clearly. “Don’t leave, Moony. Please don’t leave.”

“I’m here,” Remus whispers as he takes Sirius’ hand. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

Sirius squeezes his hand and lets out a sigh of relief. “You really are here.”

Sirius closes his eyes for a moment, then opens them again. “Remus, I am so-”

“No,” Remus interrupts. “It’s too late to apologize, Padfoot. I’ve already forgiven you.”

“I don’t deserve it,” Sirius murmurs with a sad look in his eyes. “Merlin knows I don’t deserve it.”

“Well, it’s done,” Remus says firmly. “You’ve been forgiven, so deal with it.”

Sirius smiles at him, then his expression becomes determined. “I promise I will never hurt you again, Moony.”

Remus closes his eyes. He thinks about Sirius always seeing him as a close friend. He thinks about Sirius inevitably falling in love. He thinks about Sirius enthusiastically telling him about her. He thinks about Sirius one day giving his heart to someone else.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Sirius,” he says.

Sirius is about to object, but Remus continues.

“Don’t worry. It’s okay, but you are going to hurt me again.”

“Because the ones you love the most, can hurt you the most,” Sirius whispers.

Remus’ eyes fly open and he stares at Sirius in shock. “You heard...”

“Oh, thank Merlin,” Sirius looks up at the ceiling with a relieved sigh. “I was ninety-nine percent sure that was a blow to the head-induced hallucination!”

Remus flushes bright red and moves to stand, but Sirius grabs his sleeve.

“Moony, wait. If you think I’m going to hurt you because I don’t love you like you love me, you’re wrong.”

“Padfoot,” Remus says pleading. “I don’t want you to pretend you love me out of guilt or because you just don’t want to hurt me again.”

Sirius shakes his head. “Moony, you have to know that I am absolutely convinced you should be with someone a hundred times better than me. Therefore, if I were pretending, I’d pretend I didn’t feel the same, so you’d move on and have a chance to be with someone who actually deserves you. But I’m tired, I’ve missed you, and my head hurts too much to come up with a lie. So all I can offer you right now is the truth: I love you, Remus Lupin.”

For a moment, Remus can only stare as his brain catches up with everything that just happened. Then he leans over Sirius and cups his face in both his hands.

“You’re probably brain damaged.”

“Then I’ve been brain damaged for the last three years.”

“Well, that would actually explain a lot.”

Sirius chuckles. “Just shut up and kiss me, you absolute twat.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for the prompt!  
> It gave me a chance to write my take on The Prank, which I've wanted to do for a while.
> 
> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed, and please let me know what you think!


End file.
